"I will wait for you" by Official P4CM Poet JANETTE...IKZ

it's a love thing.

for some reason i've just been thinking about people who try to speak into my life.. and i was wondering if i was being close-minded b/c sometime it would just really irritate me when people went all preacher on me... but then i can recall other time when people have tried to encourage me and "preach" into my life and i've loved it, accepted it, and learned from it. so then i wondered if i am just temperamental.. then i got it. those that i would just tried to have general conversation and they would start preaching to me annoyed me b/c i felt more of the "i am holier than thou" vibe from them and it felt belittling and there was no affection.. kinda like rule-ish. pharisees-ish. ya feel me? sooo then i thought about the other times when i accepted and respected when people gave me biblical advice.. and i feel like what made all the difference was LOVE. true genuine love. they showed me that they loved me first THEN wanted to give to me in encouragement and words for God's word to help me b/c they cared.. and they may not have always been right..but i thought on it. i tested it. God used it. and it really helped.. instead of ignoring it and disregarding b/c i was just annoyed. as a follower of Christ i think the love factor is the BIGGEST MOST IMPORTANT part.. without it we become annoying Christians that even Christians don't want to hear from.. its so important that we show that we do what we do and say what we say b/c God has put His heart inside of us to love like He loves.. not to do our 'christian duties'.. not to say something b/c it is what every good christian person should say. Saying God to much to prove your religious status doesn't change lives, encourage, or do anything for the kingdom.. LOVING LIKE GOD.. DOES :).

"i applied my heart to what i observed

and learned a lesson from what i saw"

Proverbs 25:32

"the integrity of the upright guided them,

but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity"

Proverbs 11:3

"reckless words pierce like a sword,

but the wise bring healing"

Proverbs 12:18

- if we've got true wisdom we've got the Holy Spirit, and if we've got the Holy Spirit, we've got Love.

"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. For if you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven." Matthew 6:1

"Jesus replied: "love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew23:37-39

stir my affection..

for You.

sometime it takes some crap happening for us to get our focus right.. and when things just seem like they are going to suck.. if we just trust trust trust and follow Jesus.. it all works out.. and even if it doesn't exactly "work out".. peace comes and overflows.. bringing a deeper love with the King.

Tenth Avenue North - You Are More

God bless my BEST FRIEND

i've not been the person that i should be and TRUELY AM.. and i've been fearful of changing because of what people will think, but God used my best friend to help me.. she is amazing..

But you can be and it will be hard and they may think you are being fake or being something that your not but thats their fault and you and God both know the truth and thats all that matters...so you go be that example around them and you may not realize it but they will notice.......and I know!!!

no follow through..

so every now and again i get these great ideas of all the things i want to change, or i want to do more of -- or less of.. and it's always with good intention. but i never can follow through.. and it is so frustrating to me.. and i didn't get it until my ride home from work after mentally beating myself up for all the things i did opposite of what i wanted to do.. here is an example.. i would tell myself "i don't like to gossip.. i know it's wrong.. i always hate the feeling after i do it.. I AM GOING TO STOP! ".. then the next day i would see or hear something that would just be IMPOSSIBLE to keep in, or just be apart of a conversation that i JUST HAD TO chime in on.. i would be be so mad at myself and the devil because i just knew he knew i was trying to do better and he brought on all this temptation that i just couldn't fight.. (of course this is a very ugly but light example, but i not going to air all my dirty laundry.. at least not today) but i've come to realize that i do not have the strength to "do better" on my own.. i do believe the enemy attacks harder when i desire to grow closer to God, BUT if i start making God apart of the solution to all my bad habits and seek him about the changes He wants me to make then He will give me the power to overcome any of the attacks of the enemy, make good solid changes, and be alright with making mistakes.. i think things will be alot less frustrating when i don't keep failing because i choose to stand alone, but instead start depending on God and accepting His grace when i do mess up.. i mean lately it's been bad, lots of great ideas for change, and not one of them did i pray and seek God about.. and not one of them has been a solid change.. anyways, just thought i would share :).

God the FATHER

God the FATHER, the perfect FATHER.
the way the enemy manipulated the circumstances of life had shaped God into a person that i had to be good enough to keep in my life, that was only available when He wanted to be, that i would have to work hard to keep interested in my life.. and this made me feel like all the struggles i have in life i had to overcome on my own to make God want to be apart of my life.. that when i messed up, i wasn't worthy of His presence.. that my life, my issues, my prayers weren't important.. that my focus needs to be doing and being something God would be proud of or interested in, worthy of his affections.. God wasn't a lover, a comforter, a provider, or a forgiver.. i was wrong. i've learned that God wants to walk along side of me, he wants to help me, wants to love me, wants to bring me joy.. this is what causes me to want to love, worship, and live for God... it's not about living for God to earn anything.. that's what makes religion so boring and unattractive.. it's all about love..God loves me.. and i love Him... i sometimes still get into the wrong mindset of who God is..but thank goodness i know the truth of God, and he helps draw me back into the understanding of who He really is, God my Heavenly Father. :)

NEW YEAR

i've been hearing everyone talk about how excited they are for 2011, change, new years resolutions , and leaving all of 2010 behind.. but honestly i haven't even felt like this is a new year, or a new start, or anything special for that matter.. soo i'm going to try to get myself in the mood of a NEW AND EXCITING YEAR.. maybe i'm not as excited because i know that i will still be going to school and working.. and having very little down time.. nothing that excited.. not that i don't love school.. i do! i just don't foresee much change in that area, until graduation.. i also don't really have any big plans for this year.. i've got ideas of what i would like to do, but honestly.. i really do want to go and be what God has in his plan.. come May every road is open to me.. i should be excited about that! but which way to go? and i'll officially be on my own.. i do feel like it is going to be a major year of growth for me.. and though it is good, it's a bit scary too.. i know i'll have to do a lot of stepping out on my own and growing comfortable and confident with myself.. maybe that is why i lack excitement.. haha. anyways i guess the reward of the upcoming year will should be something to look forward to.. it's never easy if it's worth it in the end. God's plans are big, i feel it in my soul.. :) i've just got to continue to be willing, and GET OVER this world, it's fears, and my own selfishness.. i can do it, but of course not on my own..

HAPPY NEW YEAR!